Yesaholics Anonymous

My wife and I are in the final stages of building our new home. We’re in the ninth month of a four-month project, so I believe the job is almost done.
 
While my contractor does fabulous work, he didn’t honor any of his time lines. At least he’s the only one who accrues expenses for every additional day the job takes to complete, right? Not exactly.
 
In truth, this project was always a nine-month project, but he didn’t want to tell me that. Instead, he wanted to keep me “happy.” My contractor thought telling me what I wanted to hear would make me happy. Happy I had to extend my stay in temporary housing. Happy I’m billed every additional month for storage. Happy I’m paying my mortgage and utilities without living in my home. Happy my wife and I planned our lives (including school for three children) around a four-month time line. As you can imagine, I’m the farthest thing from being “happy.”
 
You can make more money, have happier customers, generate more referrals and deal with fewer headaches if you could simply be more honest. I’m not suggesting that my contractor is lying by doing something illegal or immoral – the fact is I trust him 100 percent. But if he was honest about what he knew to be true and shared this with his customers (even if they don’t like what he’s saying), they would have a better experience. The same goes for charitable contributions and volunteer efforts. If a business owner is more honest about his time, these organizations will appreciate him more.
 
For example, have you ever said “yes” when you’re better off saying “no?” Have you made promises you can’t keep or struggle to honor? Do you have a hard time telling the customer the truth about how long a project may actually take or cost? Do you withhold information from your customers that you know they want or need to hear in fear of a confrontation or losing a sale? Do you believe you need to please people for them to like you? Is your schedule frequently overbooked? If so, you may be a “Yesaholic.”
 
When you instinctively say “yes” first without thinking whether you can realistically deliver on that time line or expectation, you always have the best intentions in mind. You believe you can “do it all.” Yet, think about what happens when you promise to deliver on something and you’re not able to? How does that make you and the other person feel?
 
Saying “no” is often perceived as a bad thing. After all, you don’t want to say “no” and fear letting someone down, looking bad or losing a sale. The irony is if you inevitably say “yes” all of the time to keep everyone happy and don’t follow through with your commitments, you wind up creating what you wanted to avoid from the start – letting others down and creating stressful situations that cost time, money and problems by continually overcommitting and not delivering.
 
Being honest and honoring your boundaries (saying “no”) is an attractive trait. People respect those who have strong boundaries.
 
The next time someone asks you to do something (including promises you make to yourself), give yourself the time to process their requests by saying, “Let me check my schedule and I will get back to you,” or “Thanks for the opportunity. I will consider it.” Then, ask yourself these five important questions before you respond. (How important are these questions? In terms of a measurable cost, these questions would have saved my contractor $32,200).

 1. “Is this something I really want to be doing?”
 2. “Is this something I have to do?” (It supports my goals, responsibilities, lifestyle, priorities, etc.)
 3. “Can I meet this person’s expectations?”
 4. “Do I really have time for this?” (Are there other activities you have committed to that take priority?)
 5. “What is a reasonable deadline/expectation I can commit to in the absolute worst case scenario?” (If you plan for the worst, you build buffers into your schedule that enable you to handle unforeseen problems while still honoring your commitments. The result? You look like a hero.)

After practicing this a few times, you’ll see the benefits since your life will become easier once you eliminate the problems that result from overcommitting. Remember, either you run your life or other people and circumstances do.

The author is president of Profit Builders, a business consulting firm, and the author of Time Management for Sales Professionals. Reach him at 888/262-2450 or info@profitbuilders.com.