L&L Conference Coverage: Face Value – Learning to Read People

Sociological studies often show that an individual’s face holds the clues to tell if that person is being less than honest. In many cases, people who are lying will touch their faces, put a hand over their mouths, wrinkle their brows or simply not make eye contact. According to Bob Clements, president, Bob Clements International, Kansas City, Mo., someone’s face – especially his or her eyes – can show a lot more than truthfulness, and learning to read these cues can be especially helpful in sales or other business dealings.

“Communication is critical in business, but it’s also the weakest area in most businesses because it’s the most often overlooked,” Clements said at his March 5 presentation “Winning in Business” at the Lawn & Landscape Conference and Trade Show in Atlanta, Ga. “The key is to recognize that people learn and communicate differently. Identifying the communication method of the person you’re working with can make business interactions run significantly smoother.”

THE EYES HAVE IT. Using a scientific model called neuro-linguistic programming, Clements explained that the direction in which a person’s eyes move during a conversation can help identify the type of communicator they are. He then outlined the characteristics of three distinct communication types: visual, auditory and kinesthetic.

Visual: “About a third of all people are visual thinkers,” Clements said. “When they’re thinking about something their eyes will often go up as a means of finding pictures of things, people or places in their brains. They also speak very fast without pausing and will switch subjects often before making it back to their original point.”

Additionally, visual thinkers like to be able to see the person they’re speaking to and may back up if someone invades their space. Likewise, Clements commented that these individuals will make large gestures with their hands or will hold their arms out at their sides to indicate the “big picture” of what their saying. Visual thinkers often will use phrases like “I see what you’re saying,” “Looks good to me,” or “I like that idea – show me more.”

Auditory: Individuals in this category essentially think with their ears and will often look left or right when they’re thinking. “Auditory thinkers also talk fast the way visual thinkers do, but they pause and usually make a sounds when they do,” Clements said. “For instance, if I asked an auditory thinker, ‘How’s your day going,’ he might look left – toward his ear– while he’s thinking and respond with, ‘Well, hmm…it’s not too bad.’”  Additionally, these people will use phrases like “That rings a bell,” “Tell me more,” or “Don’t use that tone with me,” and they often keep their hands to the front of their bodies when they’re speaking.

Kinesthetic. “Kinesthetic people like to move in close and touch people when they talk – maybe a pat on the pack,” Clements said. “They’ll speak much slower than visual or auditory people and will make no sound when they pause – they’re trying to get a feel for the topic they’re thinking of, rather than relating it to a picture or sound.” Kinesthetic thinkers look down when they’re thinking and will often have little hand movement while they’re speaking. Some common kinesthetic phrases are, “We’ve just scratched the surface,” “Hold on,” or “I’m comfortable with that.”

By using these cues and following an individual’s eyes, it may be possible to determine what kind of thinker your client or employee is and thereby tailor your conversation to fit their needs. For instance, Clements said that in a sales presentation to a visual client it may be useful to bring pictures of what their landscape will ultimately look like or to respond to their concerns with a comment like, “Let’s see what we can do,” or “I see where you’re coming from.” At the same time, an auditory thinker would respond to verbal explanations of design plans while kinesthetic thinkers may benefit from a visit to a nursery where they can touch, feel and smell plants for their proposed landscapes before anything is installed.

REMEMBER WHEN. Interestingly, neuro-linguistic programming does not end with learning how someone expresses himself or herself in conversation. It also can be used to identify the side of the brain that person uses for remembering information and the side used for creating information.

To illustrate this concept, Clements had session attendees pair up and ask their partner a question they knew that person would have to think about but know the answer to. Some people asked their partners, “Who’s the Secretary of State?” others inquired, “What color shirt did you wear yesterday?” or “Who won the Super Bowl this year?” Then they paid close attention to their partner’s eyes while they remembered the answer.

“When someone retrieves a piece of information, their eyes will move to the remembering side of their brain,” Clements said. “If I ask someone what color shirt they wore the day before and their eyes go to the right, I know that they remember on the right side of the brain. Once I know this, if I ask a question but their eyes go to the left, they’re not necessarily lying to me, but they may not totally remember that answer.”

For example, Clements explained that if a training manager knows his trainee remembers to the right that fact can be useful the next time they go over a policy or procedure. If the manager asks the training, “Do you remember what we talked about last time,” and the employees eyes go to the left rather than the right, but he answers in the affirmative, the trainee may not be lying about remembering the training topic, but he or she may not fully remember every aspect of the training session. In this case the trainer can pick up on the facial cue and respond with, “Let me refresh my memory,” to get everyone back on track.

By paying attention to small facial cues, business owners can learn to work more effectively with their clients and employees. Clements even recommends keeping track of neuro-linguistic programming notes in clients’ files so salespeople or account managers easily can adjust their presentations to accommodate visual, auditory and kinesthetic thinkers alike. It takes only a few seconds to size up a person’s communications style, but using that information effectively can translate into better communication and more solid relationships with employees and clients.

The author is associate editor of Lawn & Landscape magazine and can be reached at lspiers@lawnandlandscape.com.